Add a blue plaque
Blue plaques commemorate a famous former dweller at your address and can do much to push the price of your home higher. Apply to English Heritage if you have a genuine former resident – or make your own plaque if you haven’t.

Don’t DIY
Invite a television makeover team to do up your home ready to sell – then stay. Tell them they’ve done such a good job, you couldn’t possibly leave now.

Animal instincts
Get a dog and keep it hungry. It will lick your plates clean. But at the first sign of fleas or shedding dog hairs, can the canine. Domestic pets can also sweep the floors if they have long tails.

It’s murder
Manage to get on the prime suspect list of a local murder hunt and the police will do a marvellous job vacuuming all the carpets. They may even lift the floorboards and go through your cupboards – and, unless they want to be sued, will put everything back perfectly.

Phone ahead
As salespeople a trained to spot timewasters, preparation is everything. A call before your visit will pave the way. Explain you’re in the market for A, but are considering B, and have already tried C, which you liked, but the waiting list is too long. A car magazine, or the weekend papers, can guide you to the right questions to ask.

Get on the right list
Log onto the manufacturer’s website and request a brochure to start a relationship the dealer will want to build on. There’s often a box to tick saying you want a test drive. You will soon start to get invited to model launches and open days.

Lighten the load
Lighter cars use less petrol - so if you rarely use the back seats, take them out. In fact, gut the car completely. All you really need is a seat, a steering wheel and gearstick. An extra 48kg of weight (an average 12-year-old) can increase your fuel bill by two per cent. So keep 12-year-olds out of the car, or charge them for the journey.