Seek out accidents
A cup of sweet tea is a well-known cure for shock victims. So hang around hospitals, pretending you have just witnessed a terrible accident, or have one yourself. Someone is bound to bring you a cup of tea.

You’re making a documentary
Tell the promoter of the gig that you’re producing a documentary that is being “looked-at” by a television channel. A huge camera isn’t necessary as many programmes are shot on tiny digital cameras. You can look the part by hiring one for under a tenner. Get into secure VIP areas and interview the stars and you may be able to sell the film to a real television channel later.

Learn to read upside down
This essential skill should be part of every blagger’s repertoire. Spot a name – preferably one that matches your gender – and say that’s you. Don’t worry about the real owner of the name turning up later. That’s their problem.

Write the label
It’s surprising how many formal functions will actually hand-write a name badge for you when, good heavens, your imaginary friend has forgotten to call ahead and alert them to your attendance. You can always write your own and brazenly wander in.